- What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
- You never actually see Santa, only his “assistants”. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire. Santa doesn’t really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he’s the one who everybody credits with the work. Santa doesn’t work anywhere near a 40 hour week. Santa travels a lot. Yup, Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!
- While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”He promptly replied, “Another train.”
- I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “Toys not included.”
- Tim: Did you know Santa had only eight reindeer last Christmas?
Tim: Comet stayed home to clean the sink.
- An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill. Which one picked it up??
Santa! The other two don’t exist!
- Why does St. Nicholas have a white beard?
So he can hide at the North Pole!
- Funny how the year you stop believing in Santa is roughly the year you start getting socks and clothes for Christmas.
- Lisa thanks her grandpa, “Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year for Christmas. I’ve never got such a brilliant gift!”
“Really?” asks the surprised Grandpa.
Lisa says, “Oh yeah – every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would stop!”
- What does Santa like to have for breakfast?
- Why does Santa take presents to children around the world?Because the presents won’t take themselves!
- What’s red and green and flies?An airsick Santa Claus!
- Why does Santa’s sleigh get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side!