- When asked about his job, Frosty always replies, “There’s no business like snow business.”
- Warped Wiseman wonders: “Does Santa Claus refer to his elves as ‘subordinate clauses’?”
- Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
- Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!
- Children: This turkey tastes like an old sofa!
Mom: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing!
- As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped, “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”
- I think Christmas is near! Because i see a ho! ho! ho!
- What do you call buying a piano for the holidays? Christmas Chopin.
- Q: What do you get from sitting on the snow too long? A: Polaroids!
- Q: What’s an ig? A: A snow house without a loo!
- One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”His wife asked, “How do you know?”“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
- Colton: How does a sheep say “Merry Christmas”?
Colton: “Fleece Navidad!”
- How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive”? Olive? Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”
- Believe it or not, there are still some people who believe in Santa Claus. Scientists call them Democrats.
- Why is Santa so fat? He ate too many Ho-ho’s…