- “Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa card statement twelve months a year also.”
- If you see a fat man…
Who’s jolly and cute,
wearing a beard
and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
while flying around
in a miniature sleigh
with eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
then lets face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!!!
- Saint Nicholas is the main Clause.
His wife is a relative Clause.
His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses
- It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant.
“That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened,” countered the prisoner.
- Q: Why weren’t there any nativity scenes in Washington D.C.?
A: They couldn’t find three wise men.
- Q: What’s an ig?
A: An eskimo’s home without a loo!
- What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!
- What song do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
- We, your cats,
at Christmas say,
Thanks for caring
for us each day.
We love this season,
all green and red,
And by the way,
- Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say: “HO, HO, HO!”