- Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
- The holiday season: a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
- Trey: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Brandon: I give up.
- Josh: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Mark: Dunno. Why?
Josh: Because he had low elf esteem!
- A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”
“She did,” he replied. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”
- How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
- Man: I’ll have the steak and kiddley pie, please.
Waiter: I think you mean steak and kidney?
Man: That’s what I said, diddle I?
- The 3 stages of man: 1) He believes in Santa Claus.
2) He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) He IS Santa Claus!
- What do you get if you team Santa with a detective?
- What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
This will sleigh you.