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6 Funny Christmas Poems For Adults

  1. Rudolph the snot nosed reindeer had a terribly bad cold
    His rosy red nose had turned green one hundred and one multifoldThen one morn’, sweet Santa said to him,
    ‘Rudolf with your nose green, you’d better stay in’Leaving a trail of green snotty slime
    Rudolf the reindeer shuffled back to his pine

    While he was dreaming of strange green bells
    Suddenly he was awakened by Santa yelling ‘Hell’

    Gratefully leaving his green bell choir
    What he discovered was Santa’s house afire

    Quickly he ran into the house
    All grey with smoke just like a mouse

    All was dark and confusion and terror
    What was needed was a courageous torchbearer

    And finally his nose, no longer a misfit
    Shining and green as an emergency exit

    Everyone escaped out into the cold
    And this was how green turned to the value of gold

    By Unknown Author

    Read source at : http://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com/funny-christmas-poems.html

  2. Red ribbons in her hair and what she wears,
    Green lipstick on her big, full lips,
    Fire in her eyes, oh yes, she dares.Girl in the world,
    Girl in your life,
    Not at home, full of strife.Is she lost? Is she found?
    Is she just playing around?
    She is the Christmas girl astound.

    She is warm, she is cold.
    She is looking for Santa’s gold.
    She’s a girl of opportunity.

    Gold bells in her ears,
    Tattoos on her breasts,
    Free spirit, oblivious to the rest.

    Her heart is warm; her heart is cold,
    She just wants Santa’s gold.
    She is the Christmas girl, so we’re told.

    She is up, she is down.
    She roams over the town.
    She has something up her sleeve.

    She approaches Santa’s elves,
    They turn away, turn around.
    Behind their backs Santa’s gold is found.

    Now she is gone, gold in hand,
    Buying a ticket to sunny beaches’ sand
    Goodbye Christmas girl!

    By Unknown Author

    Read source at : http://www.inspirational-quotes-short-funny-stuff.com/funny-christmas-poems.html

  3. All I Need To Know About Life Learned From A SnowmanIt’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy.
    Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.
    Wearing white is always appropriate.
    Winter is the best of the four seasons.
    It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.
    There’s nothing better than a foul weather friend.
    The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.
    It’s not the size of the carrot, but the placement that counts.
    We’re all made up of mostly water.
    You know you’ve made it when they write a song about you.
    Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!
    Avoid yellow snow. Don’t get too much sun.
    It’s embarrassing when you can’t look down and see your feet.
    It’s fun to hang out in your front yard.
    Always put your best foot forward.
    There’s no stopping you once you’re on a roll.

    By Unknown Author

    Read source at : http://www.coolest-holiday-parties.com/funny-christmas-poems.html

  4. Some Say Reindeer Can’t Fly To Rooftops
    And Holidays Don’t Happen In The Seas.
    They Say The Sky Is Up, The Ocean Down,
    And Octopi Can’t Be Christmas Trees.But There’s More Than One Side To A Story
    And More Than One Side To A Tree. An Octopus
    Can Twinkle. And Special Stars Can Swim.
    We Wish You Many Merry Days With Fishy Lyricism!

    By Unknown Author

    Read source at : http://quotespoemsmessages.com/free-funny-christmas-poems-for-adults/

  5. My Christmas Tree Won’t GrowHo Ho Ho
    Snow Snow Snow
    What Can I Do,
    My Christmas Tree Won’t Grow.
    I’ve Sang It A Carol.
    I’ve Sang It A Song.
    I’ve Fed It Mince Pies.
    Where’ve I One Woring
    So I Ran It A Bath.
    With Herbs And Salts.
    I Dipped It In.
    I Prayeded And Hoped.
    I Waited And Waited.
    Then I Pulled It Out.
    I Measured It Once.
    I Measured It Twice.
    I Measured It Again.
    Oh Dear.
    It Was Just As Short.
    It Was Just The Same.

    By Unknown Author

    Read source at : http://quotespoemsmessages.com/free-funny-christmas-poems-for-adults/

  6. The Christmas FairyI sit atop your Christmas tree,
    All clad in pink, a real fairy.
    The reason I appear so glum,
    The sprig of spruce stuck up my bum.

    By Patrick Winstanley

    Read source at : http://www.funny-poems.co.uk/christmas-rude/xr03-christmas.asp

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