- What kind of bird can write?
A. A pen-guin
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective ?
A. Santa Clues!
- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It’s Christmas, Eve.
- Q: Name the child’s favorite Christma king?
A: A stocking.
- Q: What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A: Santa Pause!
- How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe!
- What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season!
- Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed!
- Who’s working at MI5 on Christmas Day?
- What did one angel say to the other angel?
- What do aliens say when they land in the North Pole?
Take me to your heater.
- What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
- Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A: A candle
- Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’
- Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A: A fire!
- Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock