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15 Christmas Cracker Jokes

  1. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barberqueue
  2. Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
  3. What does a frog do if his car breaks down?  He gets it toad away.
  4. What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers? A nervous wreck.
  5. What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas lunch?   Twerky!
  6. Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
    Because he had a low “elf” esteem.
  7. Who is Santa’s favourite singer?   Elf-is Presley.
  8. What do you call a skeleton detective?   Inspector Columbones
  9. What do ghosts eat at Christmas?  Ghoulash
  10. Why do birds fly south for the winter?
    Because it’s too far to walk
  11. What athlete is the warmest at Christmas?
    A long jumper
  12. What’s E.T. short for?
    Because he’s only got little legs
  13. What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
    Santa going through a revolving door!
  14. What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
    The elf-abet!
  15. What did Santa say to the smoker?
    Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!

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